Fathers may not admit it, but they like to push their children in strollers or wear them in slings because it secretly makes them feel cool.
When I wear or stroll Emmett down Centre Street, whether I'm at the coffee shop or bakery or library or the bank, people gawk as we approach--little old ladies ooh and ahh, young couples give us puppy dog eyes and hold each other's hand a little tighter, tattooed baristas say things like "that's one good looking lad" without a trace of irony, and even homeless dudes forget to ask me for some spare change. Emmett is my instant attention-getter, my get-out-of-obscurity-free card, and when he's with me, I forget that my hair is turning gray, that my hairline is receding, that my back is killing me, and that I didn't get enough sleep the night before. I could weigh 250 pounds, be hungover in Vegas with a huge beard and two loser friends like that fat dude from The Hangover, but throw a baby on me and I'm pure box-office gold.
In fact, Emmett's kinda gotten to my head. I'm more than a little immodest when he and I are hanging out. Take this situation, for example:
Little Old Lady (who sees me standing in the aisle of the convenience store with Emmett strapped to my chest): Oh, how cute! How precious!
Chad: Thank you!
LOL: How old?
C: I'll be 33 in July!
Or this one: I'm walking down the sidewalk with a cup of coffee and I overhear a beautiful woman say to her friend, "Isn't he darling?"
Chad: Are you talking about me? Thank you!
Beautiful Lady (choosing to ignore me): Just adorable!
C (choosing to ignore that she's ignoring me): Thank you, thank you, thank you!
BL (who looks the other way as we pass, then whispers to her friend): I was talking about the baby.
Okay, so maybe most of the time they are talking about the boy and not the father. But yesterday, Father's Day, we were at a Building 19 looking for discounted Persian rugs, when an older gentleman, stooped with a cane, and I had the following exchange:
Older Gentleman: That sure is a cute one!
Chad: Thank you!
OG: Enjoy him because it won't be this way forever!
C: Kids grow up pretty quick, huh?
OG: Sure, but so do their parents! One day you'll be like I am!
So I am getting old and getting older by the minute. Good thing I have Emmett around to make me look young. And in case you think this is vanity or pride, please remember that this is Shakespeare-approved vanity or pride. Shakespeare tells us in his second sonnet that to have children is "to be new made when thou art old, / And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold."
2 comments:
Your thoughts make me smile in the morning. I hope you enjoyed your first of many Fathers Days to come.
xxoofg
that was a nice read. hope you had a good day. too bad we ain't moving to the same town eh?
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